Relationship coach Louanne Ward reveals the FIVE new dating terms you need to know about in 2021 


While most of us are familiar with common dating terms including ‘ghosting’ and ‘catfishing’, these days there are a whole host of new phrases that daters need to familiarise themselves with.

The next six months of 2021 are set to see the rise of ‘bubble trapping’ – fast-tracking a relationship during a COVID-19 lockdown – and ‘simmering’ – where someone suddenly reduces the amount of time they spend with you significantly.  

Relationship and dating coach Louanne Ward, from Perth, recently shared with FEMAIL the five new dating terms you need to know about this year. 

She also shared how you can spot the signs you’re a victim of one of them now.

Relationship and dating coach Louanne Ward (pictured), from Perth, recently shared with FEMAIL the five new dating terms you need to know about this year

The first term to be aware of, Louanne said, is icing. This means delaying any commitment and making up a reason to defer progressing in a relationship (stock image)

The first term to be aware of, Louanne said, is icing. This means delaying any commitment and making up a reason to defer progressing in a relationship (stock image)

1. Icing

The first term to be aware of, Louanne said, is icing.

This means delaying any commitment and making up a reason to defer progressing in a relationship.

‘If they say things like “I wish I had more time to spend with you”, “As soon as I get this big contract out of the way, my time will free up and I will make it up to you” or “I’m going through a super busy patch right now but let’s catch up as soon as I get through this”, they are icing you,’ Louanne told FEMAIL. 

‘When someone is icing you and you’re accepting it, they know they can just put you on “ice” and keep you stored for a later time when they’re hungry knowing you’re unlikely to end it.’

The dating coach said you need to watch out for this particular personality type in the dating world, and when you come across it, make sure you set the boundaries clear and early – or otherwise move on. 

2. Simmering

Simmering is suddenly reducing the amount of time you spend with somebody, including dates with that person and communication in general.

Louanne said with this type of dater, you need to watch out for someone who cancels plans at the last minute and offers an alternative for much later down the track.

‘Saying things like “Sorry to do this, but I can’t make tonight, will explain when I see you. I’ll give you a call next week and we can take a rain check” is a clear warning sign you’re dealing with simmering,’ Louanne said.

A ‘simmerer’ will typically accept invitations on the spot, but let you know that they will ‘confirm’ closer to the date.

‘When someone is simmering, they are often trying to get out of a relationship not wanting to do the dirty work themselves,’ Louanne said.

‘You’ll soon get tired of being put on the back burner and should watch out.’

3. Depositing 

Depositing is one of the most toxic new trends you need to know about.

It is when someone is making small deposits and spending lots of time with you without investing any further with you or the relationship.

‘When they are with you, they give you their time and attention, but someone who is depositing is half in and half out,’ Louanne said. 

‘You might have had a great night together, a nice dinner and good sex, but instead of staying the night, they leave.’

The dating coach said this type of dater will share experiences and make spontaneous plans for a date or weekend away, but they won’t invest in future plans or talk about the serious future. 

‘Depositing can feel like the person you’re with is emotionally closed down or unavailable,’ she added. 

‘They are making short-term deposits instead of long-term investments because they have all the rewards of dating you without making a commitment, leaving them free to keep dating other people.’  

Depositing is when someone is making small deposits and spending lots of time with you without investing any further with you or the relationship (stock image)

Depositing is when someone is making small deposits and spending lots of time with you without investing any further with you or the relationship (stock image)

4. Bubble trapping

Bubble trapping is one of the most relevant dating types during the coronavirus pandemic. 

It refers to someone who enters into a COVID-19 lockdown bubble with someone else, trapping you into fast-tracking a relationship.

‘Dating has become more difficult with the pandemic, as often you have to build the relationship virtually while waiting to meet in person due to various restrictions of isolation, snap lockdowns, social distancing and quarantine,’ Louanne said.

‘Having a bubble buddy can end up looking like a real-life episode of Married At First Sight, being locked down with someone you barely know.’

While fast-tracking a relationship when you’re locked down might seem like a good idea at the start when you’re bored and lonely, you can quickly find yourself ‘trapped in a relationship that’s not right for you’. 

‘Watch out for bubble trapping,’ Loaunne said.

‘Even worse, it can mask the warning signs of a love bomber and a potentially toxic relationship.’

5. Dating profile doxing 

Dating profile doxing is sharing someone’s personal information on your dating profile, including your messages on social media.

It is done in an attempt to shame, belittle or demean you.  

‘There are many examples of dating profile doxing, and there is even an Instagram page called Tories of Bumble designed to promote doxing,’ Louanne said.

‘Men need to be extra careful of this, as it’s more likely to happen to them.’  

The dating coach said it’s hard to spot the warning signs you’re going to get doxed, so ‘prevention is more effective than cure’.

‘If you are going to place yourself on dating apps, keep as much of your personal life off the app as possible,’ Louanne said.

‘Remove things like where you work, your location, social media or political views. Finally, make sure your photos aren’t cringe-worthy and behave yourself in messages.’ 



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