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Ex-Mormon tells how unmarried couples practice ‘soaking’


How to have sex and stay a virgin! Ex-Mormon reveals how unmarried couples practice ‘soaking’ to be intimate without sinning – where a man penetrates a woman but doesn’t MOVE

  • Ex-Mormon Lexi McDonald, of Idaho, went viral with a video about ‘soaking’
  • The term refers to a man sexually penetrating a woman but ‘with no movement’
  • Belief is that the lack of movement means the couple is not ‘sinning’
  • Lexi explained there is also ‘jump soaking’ where a close friend will manipulate the bed to ‘create movement’ in order for the couple to feel greater stimulation


An ex-Mormon has gone viral with a video explaining the sexual practice of ‘soaking’ among unmarried couples. 

Lexi McDonald, of Idaho, explained on TikTok that couples not wishing to ‘sin’ by having premarital sex might choose to engage in ‘soaking’, which refers to a man sexually penetrating a woman without thrusting or moving.

‘Soaking is when you have a man who just “sticks it in” and let’s it soak,’ she said in the clip that has been viewed more than 11million times. ‘The idea behind it is if it’s just in but there’s no moving back and forth, no movement, then it’s not a sin.’

For couples who want greater stimulation than ‘soaking’ there is also ‘jump soaking’, where a trusted friend will shake the bed to create movement, providing greater simulation for the couple.  

Eye-opening: Lexi McDonald, of Idaho, explained on TikTok that Mormon couples not wishing to ‘sin’ by having premarital sex might choose to engage in ‘soaking’, which refers to a man sexually penetrating a woman without thrusting or moving

Lexi, who left the Mormon faith at 25, continued: ‘If you want to take it one step further then there’s a thing called “jump soaking”, which is where you “stick it in”. 

‘And then you have a good friend who will go underneath the bed, or even on top, and create movement, have outside forces move you, because if you’re not doing it then it’s not premarital sex.’

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches the ‘law of chastity’ which strictly forbids sex outside of a heterosexual marriage, framing it as the worst sin ‘next to murder’. 

‘The theology there is that god gives humans the power to create and destroy life — these are godly powers,’ Patrick Mason, chair of Mormon history and culture at Utah State University, told BuzzFeed News

Lexi, pictured, went viral with her video explaining how couples find ways around the rules

Lexi, pictured, went viral with her video explaining how couples find ways around the rules

‘The church does teach that sexuality is beautiful, but it’s only supposed to be exercised within these bounds [the confines of marriage], because the church doesn’t want it to be turned into lust or objectification.

‘So, seeing someone and being attracted to them sexually is fine, but those thoughts have to be disciplined.’ 

It means many Mormons feel extreme guilt for simply having sexual thoughts or desires, let alone acting on them. 

‘Soaking’ was devised as a way to try and circumvent these religious teachings, according to Lexi. She explained it is especially popular at the Mormon-led Brigham Young University, in Utah, or among ‘young people in general, who aren’t married’. 

Viewers were quick to confirm Lexi's explanation, with one commenting: 'I'm from Utah... She isn't lying. Sadly.' However others, including Mormons, said they had 'never heard' the term

Viewers were quick to confirm Lexi’s explanation, with one commenting: ‘I’m from Utah… She isn’t lying. Sadly.’ However others, including Mormons, said they had ‘never heard’ the term

She added: ‘I wish I was making this up. It is pretty sad how common this is.’ 

Viewers were quick to confirm Lexi’s explanation, with one commenting: ‘I’m from Utah… She isn’t lying. Sadly.’

However others, including Mormons, said they had ‘never heard’ the term. 

Podcast host Carah Burrell, another ex-Mormon and host of Mormon Stories Podcast, said she had thought ‘soaking was a joke’ but has been ‘proved wrong’. 

She added other couples have anal sex, believing it is different enough to vaginal sex to avoid being classed as sinful.  

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