Alexandra Cane reveals she ‘abused drugs, alcohol, sex, food and exercise’ in her early 20s


Alexandra Cane has revealed she abused drugs and alcohol in her early 20s in a harrowing Instagram post on Thursday,

The Love Island 2018 star, 29, detailed how she didn’t believe she was worthy of love and spent years searching for validation and success, including appearing on the reality show, to hide the ‘shame and guilt’ she felt over not being perfect.  

Sharing snaps of herself in the present day and in childhood, she wrote: ‘Growing up I was only ever praised for my external beauty & achievements, this led me to believe that this was the only way I was worthy. I never realised how much this would affect me in my adult years, until now…

Brave: Alexandra Cane has revealed she abused drugs and alcohol in her early 20s in a harrowing Instagram post on Thursday

‘Throughout my early twenties, I spent most of those years trying to numb the feelings I didn’t want to feel. I abused alcohol, drugs, sex, food, exercise, all in a bid to hide the shame & guilt I was feeling that I wasn’t ‘perfect’ or how society expected me to be.

‘Going on a TV show was the cherry on top. It fuelled my need for validation & desire for success, my perfectionism. Although, it calmed the party girl down because I was too afraid to publicly make a fool of myself. 

‘Someone even said to me before going on the show “whatever you do, don’t embarrass the family”.

‘There I was, the girl who looked like she had her s**t together, confident, thriving, successful, independent boss woman, what more could you want?!’

Heartbreaking: The Love Island 2018 star, 29, detailed how she didn't believe she was worthy of love and spent years searching for validation and success, including appearing on the reality show, to hide the 'shame and guilt' she felt over not being perfect

Heartbreaking: The Love Island 2018 star, 29, detailed how she didn’t believe she was worthy of love and spent years searching for validation and success, including appearing on the reality show, to hide the ‘shame and guilt’ she felt over not being perfect

‘I feel like I’ve been living a lie. The whole time I’ve felt insecure, worried, fearful, ashamed, criticised… all of the lowest vibration emotions. 

‘I’m not a ‘celebrity’ I’m HUMAN just like you. I make mistakes all the time, but they have been my greatest teachers.’

The star detailed how she had been working on herself to heal and gave support to her followers who may be struggling. 

She said: ‘The last 6 months have been spent unravelling trauma, shadows, healing my inner child, understanding my behaviours, why I struggled to be in a loving relationship, why I craved validation etc…

Candid: Sharing snaps of herself in the present day and in childhood, she wrote: 'Growing up I was only ever praised for my external beauty & achievements, this led me to believe that this was the only way I was worthy'

Candid: Sharing snaps of herself in the present day and in childhood, she wrote: ‘Growing up I was only ever praised for my external beauty & achievements, this led me to believe that this was the only way I was worthy’

Work: The star detailed how she had been working on herself to heal and gave support to her followers who may be struggling

Work: The star detailed how she had been working on herself to heal and gave support to her followers who may be struggling

‘What it came down to? I didn’t believe I was worthy of love. I didn’t love myself.

‘I’m still in the process of healing, as the path is not linear. It’s actually extremely messy so please do not think for one second that finding peace is at all glamorous. Its raw, it’s rough, it’s wild, it’s savage. 

‘I’ve seen the darkness, I’ve seen death in the eye and fought so hard to gain peace of mind again. When I say death, I mean death of the ego that tells you to be EVERYTHING but your true authentic self. This is what we call ‘the shadow’.

‘I can assure you there is peace on the other side, but you have to be willing to be extremely honest with yourself and walk away from things that don’t serve your highest self. Friends/jobs/behaviours…’

Against it:  Alexandra said in June she will not be getting the Covid-19 vaccine and hit back at criticism via Instagram on Friday as she said she 'won't be silenced'

Against it:  Alexandra said in June she will not be getting the Covid-19 vaccine and hit back at criticism via Instagram on Friday as she said she ‘won’t be silenced’

‘One last thing: fame, success, material things, the perfect body will NEVER bring you the peace of mind and loving relationships you are looking for. It is ALL within you. You just have to dig deep and peel off the layers. 

‘You are worthy of it all. This world is all smoke and mirrors. Stay true to yourself and don’t let society dictate to you how to be. Because YOU are perfect just the way god made you.’

Alexandra also deleted all of but five of her recent Instagram posts in the wake of the message. 

The emotional post comes after Alexandra revealed she won’t be getting the Covid-19 vaccine, and hit back at criticism by saying she ‘won’t be silenced’.

She took to Instagram in June to share her thoughts on the subject, before then defending herself in a further post on Friday.

In her original post, she said of the vaccine: ‘Had some questions regarding the injection so thought I’d share my perspective…  

Choices: Alexandra explained, 'I personally will not be getting it as it is still very much in the experimental stages & I have no idea of the after effects'

Choices: Alexandra explained, ‘I personally will not be getting it as it is still very much in the experimental stages & I have no idea of the after effects’

‘I personally will not be getting it as it is still very much in the experimental stages & I have no idea of the after effects. 

‘I am a sovereign being who has the basic human right of deciding what I believe is best for my body. (As are you).’  

She added: ‘I choose not to inject something that I have not much information of, nor do I wish to follow suit just because others are. 

‘Follow your intuition. Do what’s right for you. & Be mindful that the mass media is just one narrative.’  

After apparently receiving backlash for her decision not to get the vaccine, Alexandra said in a rambling post: ‘Following on from yesterday… I’m entitled to my own opinion, as are you. 

After apparently receiving backlash for her decision not to get the vaccine, Alexandra said in a rambling post: 'Don't let people make you feel guilty about choosing YOU. It is not selfish'

After apparently receiving backlash for her decision not to get the vaccine, Alexandra said in a rambling post: ‘Don’t let people make you feel guilty about choosing YOU. It is not selfish’

‘People calling me brave because most are living in fear… let me say this… Do what works for you. 

‘I’m just reminding you that you have a CHOICE and don’t deserve to be bullied into getting something that doesn’t resonate for you. 

‘Don’t let people make you feel guilty about choosing YOU. It is not selfish. We need to hold ourselves accountable for our own life choices.

 

‘That may upset some, it may empower others… either way… I won’t be silenced.’

Alexandra then went on to discuss her thoughts on the human body’s immune system, claiming it naturally fights infections and bacteria and suggesting that it is stress that causes it to stop working effectively.

She told fans she believed ‘the mind and body are connected and finding energetic balance within the vessel that is made up of trillions of cells’, and ‘breathwork’ was a way to stop stress from impacting the immune system.

Thoughts: Alexandra went on, 'I am a woman. WOMB-an. My womb is my life force. My womb creates new life'

Thoughts: Alexandra went on, ‘I am a woman. WOMB-an. My womb is my life force. My womb creates new life’

The reality star went on to say: ‘I’m not responsible for your choices. YOU ARE. I’m just reminding you that you have one should you wish to use it.  

‘I am a woman. WOMB-an. My womb is my life force. My womb creates new life. 

‘There is no data available to show me what potential effects it could have on fertility so I will choose not to take something on which I have little information on.

‘I do not judge either way. I will not let this cause divide. Love unites us all. We are one.’

Having two doses of a Covid vaccine slashes the risk of being admitted to hospital with the Indian variant by 93 per cent to less than one in a thousand but unvaccinated people are at a higher risk than in earlier waves.

For help call Samaritans for free on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org 

Rambling: Alexandra added, 'I do not judge either way. I will not let this cause divide. Love unites us all. We are one'

Rambling: Alexandra added, ‘I do not judge either way. I will not let this cause divide. Love unites us all. We are one’



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